Facebook Update

Clearly I haven't posted in a while. Please don't hold it against me, I promise I will explain in a future post. But onto more important things. Facebook.  Sometimes when I hear ridiculous, entertaining, jaw-dropping, mind-blowing, is-this-$hit-even-real stories, I tend to just post them on Facebook because it's faster and the satisfaction I get from getting "likes" outweighs the time it would take to write a blog. But I'm going to try to collect all the craziness and provide a little commentary. Here are some Facebook stories that I have neglected to update my blog readers on... 


1. Men Selling Panties May Disappear as Saudi Lingerie Stores Can Hire Women
Yes, you read that right. Given the strict level of separation of men and women in this country, it is most embarrassing to try to buy a bra from some creepy dude who is clearly assessing what you have going on under your abaya. A friend of mine tried to escape the muttawa by going into a lingerie store only to have the old, bearded man follow her into the store and demand she cover her head. I will provide an update in January to see if any women will actually be working in the lingerie stores. I'm skeptical that this will actually be implemented, but hopeful nonetheless.  


And you may be thinking that it would be easier to just order a bra online and have it delivered to my home and save the embarrassment. Unfortunately, online shopping hasn't caught onto the Saudis. Most business is done entirely in cash, credit cards are hard enough to use.  Though, McDonald's, KFC, and Popeye's provide home delivery in the Middle East.......?! 


2. Saudi Arabia's Religious Police Outlaw 'Tempting Eyes'
So I barely manage not to trip over my abaya on a daily basis without showing too much ankle, now I may be asked to cover my entire face. As my Dad commented, "Tempting is in the "eye" of the beholder. Maybe the tempted should cover their eyes instead". Couldn't agree with you more!

3. Letting Saudi women drive will promote premarital sex
I'm no scientist. I haven't taken a science class since high school. But I like logic. Things that make sense. Cause and Effect. Due Diligence. Coming to a reasonable conclusion after some appropriate research. 


I have tried using all the reason I have to try to understand this research process but still I do not understand.  The irony of it all is that not allowing women to drive encourages interaction with unrelated males. We are forced to take taxis and buses everywhere where the driver is a stranger. *sighs*


4. Hindustani
Onto a lighter, more exciting topic. Everyone loves Bollywood. The feel-good movies, the infectious songs, the dances, the larger-than-life movie stars. The genre appeals to so many different cultures and I love that. The latest Bollywood movie is number 4 on the U.A.E. cinema charts. When people find out that I am of Indian origin, the typical response is "Oh, from the land of Shah Rukh Khan". Yes, from the land of SRK.  Evidently, the Arabs love Bollywood so much that they have produced an entire show in Arabic!


A glitzy new OSN produced musical comedy; Hindustani was filmed in Mumbai with a Saudi cast and was inspired by the US hit show Glee.


Watch for yourself and be dazzled!

Until next time, 
-M

Saudi Driving (faster and more furious) - Guest blog by R

When my beautiful wife M suggested I write a guest post for her blog, I sat dumbfounded as to what topic to write about. For those of you that know me personally, you are aware of my love for cars, watches, music and atrocious horror or kung-fu films. However, most people find watches uninteresting, my music taste still is still stuck in MC Hammers parachute pants the 90s, and only a few outside of my Steven Segal fan club find Seven Samurai or the Walking Dead to be enthralling. Naturally, that left my love of cars – a perfect fit for Saudi.

Due to the nature of the construction industry, safety and awareness are not just practiced religiously, but are engrained in our company culture. As an example, each and every meeting we have begins with a “Safety Topic” in order to promote awareness and continually strengthen that culture. During my first meeting in Kingdom, our project director opened with “Driving in Saudi” as a safety topic. At the time I did not fully appreciate the meaning, but after a year in Kingdom, and almost 365 similar safety topics later, this is my attempt to summarize my experiences.

Location – Location - Location

M and I have an unprecedented love for traveling. However, this passion comes with the re-occurring theme of constant relocation. Growing up in the North East of the United States I learned how to drive in all weather conditions while sitting in traffic listening to Kris Kross. Living in Wisconsin taught me the true meaning of appreciating the dangers of snow and ice. Living in the southeast I learned what it meant to be a ‘southern gentlemen’ in an automobile. Driving in Mumbai taught me how to avoid livestock and other obstacles in the road.  After 12 years of refining various driving techniques and experiences I still was not quite prepared for driving in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

Faster & More Furious

The inspiration for this blog stems from the latest release of Fast 5 – the fifth movie in the Fast & Furious series. The movie was entertaining, but could have used Chuck Norris or Van Dam. When I sit back and think of what driving in Saudi really entails, I think of the fast and ferocious pace in which drivers make decisions you would least expect. Let’s take something as simple as a left turn.  Now for you western drivers everywhere in the world, except New Jersey, you would expect that the lane ‘marked’ as the turn lane would be your only option for turning left. You sir would be WRONG! In Saudi if you are fast enough, or not, and in the far right lane, or any, you can manage to turn left my simply pretending there are no cars around and having complete disregard for the safety of others.

Most of the lights in kingdom have a nice countdown to turning green. I would compare it to a drag race where two cars are lined up revving their engines waiting for the gorgeous model to drop the flag. However, in Saudi, when the “flag drops” the 1^st car speeds off, but layers of impatient drivers behind you lay on the horn endlessly. Due to this incredibly annoying and unnecessary behavior, I have yet to fully enjoy a Pearl Jam track without the annoyances of honking and yelling.

About a decade ago the Saudi government realized that people needed to slow down as Saudi Arabia captured the title of most vehicle accidents and deaths per capita in the world. Their answer to this was an ingenious innovation that would make Steve Jobs proud (R.I.P Steve Jobs). Try and stay with me here but each vehicle was now required to install a speed warning indicator for aid the driver in identifying their speed. This warning is the infamous 120 km / hour beep. When a car goes ~75 mph (120 km / hr) your car starts beeping. As if there was not already enough beeping going on, adding some additional annoyances in the form of diluted honking sounds was surely going to slow drivers down.

For you New-Yorkers out there, how many times have you experienced the a-hole that ‘double-parked’ and blocked you in? In Saudi Arabia you would go as far as to thank someone for deciding to double park instead of triple or quadruple parking.

Have you ever been blocked by a semi trying to back-into a delivery dock? No big deal – in Saudi turn on your flashers and start heading down wrong way traffic – the flashers will protect you.

Here are 8 basic rules and assumptions to serve as a guideline when driving in Saudi Arabia:

1. Always assume the car that would “surely not” pull out in front of you, will with certainly do exactly that.
2. Do not be afraid to use your horn. If you do not use your horn you will appear a foreigner. On the other hand, the use of your signals will definitely flag you as a foreigner.   
3. Do not concern yourself with lanes as they only serve as guidelines.
4. If you are not going too fast, you are going too slow.
5. When high beams are flashed at you, it does not mean there is cop up ahead, it means “get the Fu** out my way.”
6. The shoulder of the road is just the ‘overflow’ lane.
7. It is socially acceptable to park your car into someone else’s and leave it that way.
8. In the event you are involved in a car crash, do not call you insurance company, call a body guard as you will be fighting. 

Based on these stories alone, most of you can imagine how fun it is to drive in Saudi. There is a clear lack of law enforcement and assimilation is necessary to be able survive the road. My natural instinct to slow down when I see a police officer is slowly fading – a dangerous combination for when we re-patriot back to the states.  I have always been more aggressive than careful. My Mother used to be an advocate of the proper use of the “Oh Sh*t” bar that resides on the passenger dashboard. In Saudi Arabia, the “Oh Sh*t” bar takes on a new meaning and has been renamed the “Oh Sh*t, what the Fu** is happening right now??” bar.

Oil Money

Finally, for those car lovers out there this is an incredible place to live. There is an overwhelming presence of foreign exotics and fast American muscle made cars. There is also the ‘I can’t believe you spent that much on a civic’ factor. Since living in the kingdom I have seen several Ferraris, Lamborghini Murcielagos, 911 Turbo’s, Audi R8’s, M series Beemers, and the beautiful Mercedes S65 AMGs. There also appears to be a cult following for the American muscle car here. I have seen several restored muscle cars but my knowledge of them is limited. In the same breath I can also say I have seen a Honda accord with Burberry interior, a gold plated Bentley, a dodge charger with ‘ARAB MONEY’ inscribed in the rear window and a restored Cadillac Eldorado with graffiti all over it . To date, I have yet to see any low riders sitting on three wheels but promise to keep an eye out.

-R

Signs that make me laugh

Signs from around the world that make me laugh! 

Watch out for the man-eating bulldozer - Dubrovnik, Croatia

Huh?  - Dubrovnik, Croatia

Watch out for falling tools - Dubrovnik, Croatia

She really has to go! - Ephesus, Turkiye

No pole dancing - On a boat

No comment - Ephesus, Turkiye

Falling aliens? - Ephesus, Turkiye

Talk to the Hand - Venice, Italy

Sometimes no words are needed. 

-M

It's all Greek to me

There's a saying people use without much thought of what it means, "It's all Greek to me".  Without much regard to what this meant, it pretty much sums up my feelings of trying to navigate this country sometimes. I decided to ask the Internet - yes, I ask "the" Internet, or more specifically, I ask "the" Google. The Internet tells me that this saying is used when something is difficult to understand, complex, as in the ancient Greek language. With all do respect, Mr. William Shakespeare, but when you coined the saying in your play, Julius Ceaser, you had clearly not traveled to the Middle East or tried to speak Arabic.


I am now officially petitioning that the saying be changed to "It's all Arabic to me".


I will never forget the first day R took me out for a drive (remember, I'm not allowed to drive here) and there is no shortage of billboard signage everywhere. I remember thinking that hopefully I would be able to read them and that one day it wouldn't look "Greek" to me. Unfortunately, after 6 months, my Arabic is not much better than it was the first time I watched "Arabs got Talent" - ie, I don't understand anything.  Luckily, my broken English and Hindi are more than sufficient to get me through the days.

And also, thankfully, years of being silently brainwashed by fast food marketing giants made understanding some of the signage easier. See for yourself....

 

If it weren't for the endlage barrage of ads, marketing campaigns, product placement, and other ways American brands got everyone in the world to love them, I could have been living in Saudi Arabia for six months and never had a Krispy Kreme donut. What blasphemy?!

 I also appreciate that Chicken Tikka - the holy grail of all Indian food - needs no translation, it is a universal language. The language of delicious.

Thanks!!

-M

You come first

The most frequent question I get from family and friends is "was it worth it?"

I would have to say that you can't put a pricetag or value on taking a leap of faith. I used to work more hours than humanly possible, made more money than I knew what to do with and every single day I felt inadequate. I was constantly trying to keep up with something and scheduled in relaxation like it was another check on my never-ending to-do list.

So yes, when this opportunity came about, I was having weeks and months of wanting to just quit my job and retire. You know those days? Those days where nothing goes right and you just want to give up everything, start over. But when that opportunity comes, are you ready and willing to take it? I have to say, at first I was unsure. This is something you dream of. Quitting your job, packing up your life, and trying something completely new. It's exciting but also scary. But without much thought, I knew that this was the right decision. I stopped chasing those useless milestones we all strive for. Those all came and went and in the end, the only thing that made me happy in life was being with R and so I followed my heart for the first time ever. I've always done everything right and as expected, always followed my brain and what seemed logical. This time, I followed a feeling so strong that it is all-consuming - LOVE.

Love, that feeling that makes everything come alive. My favorite description of love is from a great friend of mine, Dr. G. When Dr. G. met his wife, he lit up. Just completely lit up.

You know that iconic song "Ek Ladki Ko Dekha"? (Super famous Hindi song that every girl wishes a prince would sing to her). Well, he told me that he was waiting for to meet someone to sing that to, to say those words to. And he finally did and it was beautiful. Two years ago, R and I married in a Hindu ceremony in front of our family and friends. We put garlands on each other as symbols of our union and formally accepting each other. Our hands were bound with a sacred thread whereby our lives and hearts were inexplicably intertwined.



Our wedding - July 2009

So it was love that brought me to Saudi Arabia. And if I ever doubted the decision or resented the fact that I had to give up so much freedom, something happened to remind me of why I'm here. Two months ago I become very sick. Sick to the point where I couldn't speak. I went through a night where every time I swallowed, it felt like daggers in my throat. R was worried about it but I told him to go to work and I would be fine. A few hours later, I was in so much pain. I mustered up enough voice to call R and ask him if he could take me to the doctor during his lunch break since I knew he was so busy at work. He said "I'm coming home now". I must have looked pretty pathetic when he come home because he just gave me a hug. But I told him again, "I'm okay, just go back to work and take me at lunch". He took my face in his hands, gave me a kiss, and said "You come first".  And that was that.

I count my blessing every day that I have such a wonderful man as a husband. And today, on my birthday, the 7th birthday we've spent together, R never ceases to amaze me. He tells me he loves me and that I'm beautiful more times in a day than I can count, he will set the alarm at midnight just to wake up to give me a birthday kiss, and will dance with me in the living room for no reason.

So, was it worth it? Of course it was.

-M

Ramadan Mubarak!

The Holy Month of Ramadan falls this year during the month of August. It's a month for Muslims to fast from sunrise to sunset and a time to reconnect with one's faith. It is also a month of great generosity and charity.  It is here in Saudi Arabia where Islam's holiest places are. These are the two mosques in Mecca and Medina. The King is also known as the Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques.

So if you combine the fact that it is Ramadan and this is the birthplace of Islam, I knew I was in for something special.  Having always lived in countries where the holidays I celebrated with my family were never the mainstream holidays, I've always come to appreciate and learn about the culture around me. (I never had a Christmas tree but always loves the lights, and watching the endless array of Christmas movies.)

Once Ramadan was announced (yes, it is announced based on moon sightings by the religious authority), everything became so festive. The crescent moon, a symbol of Ramadan, can be seen everywhere. Hotels and buildings are decorated with lights. Even bushes are trimmed to the shape of the crescent moon.  Grocery stores and shops are abundant with sales and it feels like the mood of everything has shifted.

Another thing that shifted is "normal" business and operating hours.  Ramadan is a time of fasting and religious observation during the day and evenings are dedicated to spending time with families, relatives, and doing the things you would normally do during the day. I must preface my next comments with a few disclaimers.

I am in no way mocking or diminishing what Ramadan is. I admire and respect all of those that have the spiritual and mental resilience to make it through an entire month of fasting. I am simply making note of some observations by an outsider to the religion and a guest of this Kingdom. So please take my observations lightly and my intention is in no way meant to offend.

As I mentioned, everything shifts. Here in Saudi Arabia because of the time sunset, fast is broken between 6 and 6:30 pm. Breaking fast is known as iftaar. To me, that sounds like a normal dinner time. Which is why it is unclear to me why the shopping malls, certain grocery stores, and certain restaurants do not open until 9:30pm. "Normal" Ramadan hours here are between 9:30pm to 2am. Yes, that's right, 2am.  So my dear husband still has to go to work everyday rather early, and usually by 9:30 at night he is dozing off, or already dozed off. Unless I steal his car and dress like a man, I'm not making it to the mall to take advantage of the above-mentioned sales. So that means I stay at home. And if you read my previous post about how freaking hot it is, there isn't a whole lot to do.  So Ramadan is more like a test on how I can occupy my time. Luckily, I am not one for sitting idle so it's not too bad. I do miss the random visits from neighbors, the coffee mornings, and generally just hanging out and meeting new ladies.

Since everyone here is Muslim, everyone observes Ramadan. So during the day if I am out in public (as a non-Muslim), I might think it's okay to have a bottle of water or granola bar. But NO. It is NOT okay. Eating or drinking in public during fasting hours is forbidden and the consequence is being thrown in jail until Ramadan is over. Not going to risk it.

Fasting during Ramadan means not drinking any water or eating food, smoking cigarettes, or having sex during daylight hours. So we can only imagine what happens at night when the restrictions are lifted. But back to my point...because the sun rises so early in the morning, most folks don't wake up until the sun is already up. That means that they have to go start their day with no food or water. That also means they cannot brush their teeth. That's right, no teeth brushing.  Just imagine having to go to work, etc without brushing your teeth. Imagine what it's like when you brush your teeth and no one else does... Just think about that....

Only a few more days of Ramadan left and then I can get back to my "normal" Saudi life!

Until next time,

-M

Time

Time. Time in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia stands still. And while the rest of you are living in 2011, I am living in 1432. Yes, that's right, 1432. And no, that is not the number of days since my last post.

It is the year 1432 according to the Islamic calendar. I grew up only knowing the Gregorian calendar (the one that makes this year 2011). Imagine my surprise when all our documents (visas,etc) all say it is 1432. I knew I was stepping back in time from a social perspective, but perhaps it was a literal step back in time. Much to my dismay, there was no time portal, and while it is 2011 back home, it is 1432 here.

So I suppose I could deal with the fact that it is 1432. Easy enough to adjust to, despite how strange it looks when you are writing it down.  The other thing about time here is the weekend. The weekend here is Thursday and Friday.

Growing up with a Gregorian calendar, you also tend to have certain assumptions about what a week is. In banker world, it seemed like the week was every day and anytime you were needed. But those with normal working/school hours, the week starts on a Monday. Hence the term, "case of the Mondays". You know what I'm talking about, the end of a fun-filled weekend, the alarm going off too early, preparing for a Monday morning meeting, and dragging your feet to get the week started - a case of the Mondays.  After you've survived Monday and Tuesday, then comes Wednesday, also known as "hump day". The day where you are closer to the weekend than you are to the beginning of the week. Thursday typically involves planning for the weekend which makes the day tolerable, and then lo and behold, TGIF!!! (Thank God It's Friday). Yes, glorious, glorious Friday. Every one is happy, a little lazy, and ready to start the weekend.

My personal favorite day of the week was Saturday. You can wake up whenever you like, take a nap, get out and about and enjoy the day of not working. Sunday isn't too bad either, except for Sunday evening when the reality of starting another work week sets in. And then the cycle begins again....

Thinking about how my entire left was set up for a week to start on Monday and end on Sunday makes me somewhat grateful I'm not working here in the Kingdom. If the weekend is Thursday and Friday, that means Saturday turns into Monday! You can't have a "case of the Saturdays"?! That would defy all logic, right?  I suppose the weekend can always start earlier, TGIW (Thank God It's Wednesday) is probably easier to digest. :)

Well, whatever the year or day may be, you just have to adjust. That's what life is all about, right? Trying new things, experiencing new flavors, and living life to the fullest. So I will be living my life to the fullest here in Saudi Arabia whether it's 1432 or 2011, or if I have the case of the Mondays or Saturdays! :)

-M

Weather

It is HOT. Today the temperature is 106°F (41°C) but it "feels like" 136°F (58°C).  I'm not really sure how to describe the temperature. Contrary to popular belief, this is not a dry heat. We live right on the coast and so it is very, very, very, very humid.

As soon as you go outside, your glasses fog up and it takes a few minutes to adjust to the heat. Just a few minutes in the heat is unbelieveable. And because of the humidity, everything just feels wet. I tried to go for a swim this morning but with the sun rising at 4:50am, the level of heat by 9am is already unbearable. Even with the utmost attention from the maintenance staff, they cannot keep the pool cool enough from the beating sun. It's like trying to swim in bath water.

R and I were in Dubai two years ago for our honeymoon and we decided to try out a swim in the gulf. After much anticipation, we finally got into the crystal clear water only to find that it was warm and salty. R affectionately referred to it as swimming in piss. Take a look at this picture, don't you just want to take a dip? Think again, you actually don't.  (As an aside, we went to the Maldives after our stay in Dubai and the water there is absolutely perfect - actually, everything about the Maldives is absolutely perfect!).


M & R Honeymoon, Mina A'Salam, Dubai, 2009



So while the United States is suffering from a temporary heat wave, I am living in a permanent heat wave. And the craziest part of it all, it's supposed to get even HOTTER in August.  We'll see how I survive!

-M

Mango Mania!

I admit it, I am ignorant. I am ignorant when it comes to mangoes. Living in the West, I only knew of one type of mango and they came from Mexico. Sometimes they are sweet and other times bitter. I used to hear tales about all the types of mangoes there were in India but it all seem so far-fetched to me. I was never one of those kids who went back to India every summer or even every few years. So when my dad would tell us stories about how he would steal mangoes from the farmers or sit on the porch with his family eating buckets of varied mangoes, it seemed like something out of a Bollywood movie or a National Geographic special.  But alas, the universe found a way to relieve me of my ignorance. Here, in Saudi Arabia where time seems to stand still, it is Mango Mania 2011!!

So many mangoes to choose from! All shapes, sizes, and various degrees of deliciousness! Yummy!

Which one is your favorite?

Cheers!
M

Things I Miss

Firstly, sorry I didn't post for 2 weeks, I've been a busy social butterfly and we lost Internet for a few days on the compound and it was complete torture! This must be what it's like to be a prisoner at Guantanemo Bay. Just kidding, obviously, but it was pretty terrible. But we are connected again!


I've been here a little over two months and my love affair with Saudi Arabia is out of the honeymoon phase. So here are some of my moans and groans about the Kingdom, in no particular order....


Bagels
I miss hot yummy bagels with cream cheese. My personal favorite was a poppy seed bagel extra toasted with plain cream cheese. There are obviously no bagels in the Kingdom. I've only been able to find frozen bread with a hole that they try to pass off as bagels. Defrosted bread just doesn't have the same delicious factor.  Coffee and a bagel go together for a reason.


Mexican Food
I miss Mexican food. Not the Tex-Mex crap, but going into a Mexican restaurant where everyone speaks Spanish and the tortillas are being rolled to order. There's no Mexican food here and when someon finds tortillas chips on the shelves from a recent import, you have to buy every single bag on the shelves. They are quite the hot commodity for American expats.


Recycling
I was often cast a tree-hugging, vegetarian liberal but I don't think I ever quite lived up to that. I was never one of those people who printed out every e-mail or article of interest but I did separate bottles from cans from paper. In fact, in my parents neighborhood, the recycling bin is about twice the size of the garbage can. Which is probably how it should be. We humans create much more garbage than is necessary, most things are recyclable and reusable. It's offensive to me to walk around a beautiful park on the water and have all the grass be littered with last night's fast food trash and plastic bottles. It's very very frustrating to have to throw away bottles and cans when there I know there is an alternative but it's not an option available to me. I may have to start a revolution - just kidding.


No Smoking
There is no shortage of "No Smoking" signs in the Kingdom's shopping areas but apparently that rule doesn't apply to local men. Security guards, cops, and children light up cigarettes whenever and wherever they please. Obviously, women in a veil can't smoke because with everything being "made in China" I'm sure the flammability of the clothing is higher than it should be. That wouldn't be good, now would it?

Stereotypes
I don't really care how this makes me sound but I miss the stereotypes of people of Indian origin in America. In America, Indians are the doctors, lawyers, engineers, and people who win spelling bees. Here, Indians are the laborers, drivers, and hired help. It breaks my heart to see my own people being treated so disgracefully and having to deal with such abuse. I'm trying very hard to keep this blog light-hearted, sarcastic, and hopefully a little whimsical. But I can't ignore major issues that are very much a part of this experience. But on the other hand, I don't want to get arrested and possibly stoned and/or flogged. Quite the double-edged sword. Suffice to say, migrant worker abuse is a major issue in this country and others in the region - please search the web for the endless amount of articles and stories on the issue.

Uncensored Internet/YouTube
I just to be able to watch whatever I want! So many things that I want to be blocked are not and the videos that I want to watch are blocked. It's highly frustrating but I'm not about to click the link to request from the government access to certain websites.


A Cool Breeze
Yes, I live in the desert and I need to deal with the heat. But damn, it's HOT. What I wouldn't give to feel a nice cool breeze on a sunny day.

Men in Suits
All men look good in suits. There's something professional, classy, and, yes I'll say it, sexy about men in suits. I haven't seen a single man in a suit. Instead, I see men in thobes - long white dresses. And holding hands (see previous post).

Cash
I used to charge $0.25 on my credit card and I never had any cash in my wallet. Now, I only have cash and barely use credit cards. I just looked in my wallet and I have US dollars, Saudi Arabian Riyal, Great British Pounds, and Bahraini Dinar - gotta love the life of an expat.

Okay, I think I'm done complaining. And even with all these moans and groans, I still wouldn't change a thing - this experience is enriching in so many ways that I can't even fully describe.

Cheers!
M

Freedom! Well, at least for a day...

Sorry for the late post but I am still reveling from our day trip to Bahrain last week. R finally had a day off (the first full day off since I arrived in the Kingdom) and we decided we needed to take full advantage of it. In the Kingdom, we relinquish control of our passports to R's company. They say it's a safety measure to keep track of our travel and movement but I also think it's a way to have everything in one place in the event of an emergency.  We had to request our passports and provide our travel plans a few days in advance but to be honest, I didn't really believe it was going to happen.

R has been on a brutal 7-day work week since we've arrived and every promised day off turned into a work day. It doesn't really bother me since I used to work a lot too and last-minute firedrills used to be my life. R put up with enough of my crap over the years so I am just grateful that we get to have dinner together everyday. 

Back to the story...since I didn't believe we were actually going anywhere, I didn't do any planning so as to not get my hopes up. I am a little crazy (okay, a lot crazy) about planning. TripAdvisor, Yelp, Lonely Planet, and of course, Google are my BEST friends (no offense to my actual best friends, I like people too).  I did no such planning for this day trip, much to my dismay but to R's excitement. R figured Bahrain is just an island that isn't even that big and there is only one bridge that leads to Saudi so it couldn't be that complicated.  We went with another couple and their child so we had, at the very least, strength in numbers even if we had no clue where we were going.

The process to cross the King Fahd causeway (really big bridge that connects Saudi and Bahrain) is a multi-step process. We figured we needed sustenance, so we stopped at an amazing little pastry shop that made fresh cheese-zatar pastries that were AMAZING. I wish I had taken a picture but we all inhaled them so quickly there was no time before they were gone. We got to the causeway, fully clad in my abaya, and went through several checkpoints. Our friends speak Arabic so I'm not really sure what each checkpoint was about since they handled that part. But we paid a toll, got our passports stamped, and had our car searched, and maybe another stop or two in between. When we finally saw the Bahraini flag it was like a weight had been lifted.

Not 10 seconds into Bahrain, my abaya was stuffed on the floor of the car.

It felt liberating to be sitting in a car wearing jeans and a tshirt. Someone described it to me as being released from jail. I couldn't have described it better.

We saw women driving. We went to the mall. We had lunch. We bought DVDs and magazines. We saw a movie. 

Okay yes, all these sound like normal things and they are normal but life in Saudi is abnormal. I take that back, it's not abnormal, it's just different (I'm a glass-half-full kind of gal). Life in Saudi makes you appreciate the little things about the rest of the world. 

The only sounds we hear at the mall in Saudi are the call to prayers. There's no Virgin megastore to test out video games, buy CDs and movies. Most entertainment products are not even allowed to be sold here (or they are heavily censored by the muttawa). The men are all dressed in thobes and most women are fully-veiled with voices that are never heard. Us expats (especially women) stand out like sore thumbs because we are walking around trying not to fall down in our abayas. (Side note, I met a lady who tripped over her abaya and broke her finger!)

Walking about the mall in Bahrain there was music, people were laughing, and people were free to express themselves. There was still an element of conservatism because you can still hear the call to prayer and there are women who are veiled or covered. But all the shops remain open and there is not enforced dress code like the sign I found from my previous post. Even the covered women were wearing abayas with a little more flair and character than we see in Saudi.

And usually I am not a fan of going to the movies since I think my home theater is better but when something is deprived from you, you crave it more.  This is when it really did feel like like I had been locked up for the past two months. I didn't know which movies were playing, I didn't know the latest hit songs. We looked like a group of lost puppies trying to pick a movie. We finally did and enjoyed the entertainment thoroughly.

I'm not even sure where the day went as I was slipping my abaya back on and heading back to Saudi. Back to our regular life on the compound. This one day of freedom was all we needed.

This must be what it's like to be a drug addict - we got our fix of freedom and now we're high on it. It makes the rules and regulations tolerable... well, at least until next time when we get our next hit. In the meantime, we are back in Saudi and its nuances.

One thing I still haven't gotten used to in Saudi is seeing men hold hands. I'm as socially liberal as they come, but living in a country where homosexuality is punishable by death, I was shocked the first few times. I quickly learned that men holding hands is a sign of friendship and nothing more. You be the judge.

Cheers!
M

Hmm...

I came across this sign at the mall today. I'm not sure if I am more baffled by the content or the spelling.

Eastern or Western?

Disclaimer: There will be a lot of bathroom humor in this post. And by bathroom humor, I mean that literally. Read at your own risk.

Carrying around toilet paper in my purse nowadays is a lesson I had to unfortunately learn the hard way. (Read: the very hard way). My familiarity with non-Western toilets is minimal. The occasional camping trip led to some uncomfortable situations but all-in-all, my experience at public washrooms has been generally positive. Sure, on road trips, you would find the yucky, smelly, dirty washrooms but none of that experience could prepare me for what I would find in the Kingdom.

Prior to moving here, I had the privilege of watching this hysterical video on YouTube: How to use Eastern Latrine. Mostly humor, but oh so relevant.

Obviously, my experience is limited to using female washrooms here in the Kingdom but I am told that the male washrooms are quite similar in nature.  Public washrooms here are an experience, to say the least. Most public toilets consist of one crucial decision. You can take the Eastern style or Western style.



Eastern style




Western style

 As you can see, the Eastern style toilet can be used in a manner similar to the one presented on the YouTube video mentioned earlier. There is a hole and a hose. Easy enough to figure out I suppose.

The Western style toilet is where I am confused.  As ladies, we are accustomed to having toilet paper around. If you were to find yourself in a situation where there wasn't any, you could just switch stalls, no problem.  Here, that is not the case. We are provided with a toilet and a hose.  Let me set the scene as to what this is really like.

You are at the mall, shopping, eating, enjoying great company. You are wearing your clothes and an abaya and you feel the urge to use the restrooms. Upon entering, you have the two options, Eastern or Western, and you choose Western. You step into the stall which has a floor-to-ceiling door for obvious privacy. Unfortunately, as you get into the stall you realize there is an inch of standing dirty water and the entire stall from top to bottom is dripping wet. There is water, dirt, and hair everywhere. This is when you wonder what the hell happened in the stall before you got there. Was there something explosive happening? Why is there water EVERYWHERE?? Did someone wrestle with the hose while they were grooming themselves? The thoughts that run through your mind are disgusting. (and FYI, this is not an isolated incident, this happens every time, at every toilet, for everyone).

I don't mean to be crass, but then you do your business (which invariably leads to one of two possible outcomes).  Once completed, you would naturally reach over for some toilet paper. There is none. You are left with a hose (also known as a health faucet - thanks R). The hose sprays water which I suppose is what you are supposed to do to clean yourself. I'm not naive to the fact that water is probably a better method to clean oneself (bidets were invented for a reason).  But in a public washroom, I'm not sure what you are supposed to do.

I will leave it to your imagination as to what one should do in such a situation. You have a hose, your hands, and your clothes.

Any advice is much appreciated.

All I know is that my purse is fully-stocked, at all times, with toilet paper.

Cheers!
M

Cable, Internet, and Mobile phones

Perhaps if this were 1990 and not 2011, I wouldn't be so concerned with my wireless, cable, and internet providers. But this is 2011, and I care, very deeply. Honestly, when I lived state-side, I didn't have very nice things to say about my cable and internet providers. Complaints of service, products, forced bundles, and random rate hikes were universal and yet there was some monopoly over the service providers.  We can say the same about wireless providers - the AT&T monopoly over the iPhones until recently created a polarized society where you either put up with the phone you like or the coverage you like because having it all is too much to ask. Unfortunately, given our insatiable need for real time data regardless of cost, we would pay hundreds of dollars a month to these providers. Think about it - everyone needs the fastest modem, the high-definition television packages, and the unlimited data plans.

I'm not even trying to be critical because that was me (maybe it still is?). Before moving to the Kingdom, I carried around two blackberries and an iTouch. I needed one blackberry strictly for personal use - to manage two email accounts (one for my maiden name and one for my married one, even though I've only managed to change my last name on Facebook - but that counts, right?), keeping up with texts, phone calls, Facebook updates (with birthday reminders), and a recently created twitter account to follow random celebrities.  Then I had a blackberry for work, where everything was disabled except for sending and receiving emails and being "on-call". I needed the iTouch because when R was in the Kingdom and I wasn't, we needed Facetime to be able to communicate. I needed the ability to run into a coffee shop or anywhere that offered free wi-fi to talk to my hubby.  I sound like a crazy person, I know. But I'm sure it's not much different than any of you. The sound of something vibrating makes people dig around purses and pockets and it's almost a race to see who wins.

I wouldn't say I miss those days, but I do miss the ease and reliability of having everything I need in my purse full of gadgets. All that changed when I moved to the Kingdom. We were provided local phones for communication and safety. So now I am carrying around my sweet Nokia cell (picture below).  I feel like I've lept into a different era. Initially, I was terrified. How am I supposed to text on this thing? I guess Twitter and Facebook updates on the fly are out of the question.  There's no way I can watch the latest YouTube videos on this. How am I going to survive? 

The honest to goodness truth is that it feels amazing. With the access to real time data, there's an obligation to respond and have an opinion immediately. This goes for every e-mail (work or personal), text, etc. There's no obligation on this thing. Quite frankly, I couldn't type an email on this phone if I wanted to. I don't have that kind of patience. So while you are reading this on your blackberry, iPhone, iPad, etc, know that sending a text message for me is an arduous, time-consuming task.

Okay, so now you know the phone situation, let's move onto internet. As much as we hated paying hundreds of dollars for our own secure high-speed wireless network contained within the walls of our condo, it was necessary.  We certainly have no shortage of devices in our home - laptops, iTouch, iPad, Kindle, etc. This is normally not an issue - plenty of devices could connect to our network easily. This is NOT the case here. Anytime we want to add or subtract a device from our network, we have to shut down the entire network and all our devices. Reboot everything and the first three devices on are the ones lucky enough to connect. This is very frustrating. We never know at any given point what has internet - is it the iPad today, or the iTouch? Or is it the other iTouch because we took one into the car to plug into our cassette player? (Yes, our car has a cassette player - that's a whole other story). 

And last but not least, television. Those of you who know me, know that I am a little bit of a tv freak - both actual televisions and television shows (those of you who know my dad, know why). My first two years in Charlotte, I lived in a studio apartment no more than 400 square feet with nothing but a bed, couch, and 50 inch TV (if you think about those proportions, the tv is BIG). When we found out a few weeks before I was to leave that we would be allowed to ship some items, the first thing we shipped was our TV, surround sound system, and Blu-ray player (obvious necessities). What I couldn't ship with me, is high definition TV channels, more than 10 TV channels, a TV guide, and a DVR. While I am very thankful to have a big screen tv, I dearly miss the ability to know what is on every channel and the ability to record and watch it when I please! 

Here on the compound, our cable package is about 30 channels, half of which are in Arabic. I also have about 10 all sports channels (24-hour cricket anyone?). That leaves very few channels that are in English and that I would actually watch. Also, we never know which channels are going to be working at any given time - unannounced blackouts are common. The TVs in our bedroom and family room have completely different channel numbers.  It took some serious patience and on-line research but now I know when certain TV shows (in standard definition only) are on and at what time. But if there's a show I want to watch I have to plan my entire day around it (it's not like I put a reminder on my phone?). Ugh! Do you know how frustrating this is?

There are a lot of things I love about this country and this experience, but I don't think I will take cable, internet, and wireless for granted ever again!

Until next time,
M

 

Odds and Ends

Photography is not welcomed in the Kingdom as it is in other places. You don't see families posing and having their picture taken anywhere. No one ever asks for you to take a photo. In fact, we have been strictly warned not to photograph anyone. So instead of taking our tripod and digital SLR out with us, taking pictures has turned into a covert operation where I sneak in pictures with my iTouch.  I promised not to ramble this week, so here's life in pictures....

Pain at the pump
The only pain we feel at the pump is the blurry image. You can't see it clearly, but the entire tank was filled on 24 Saudi Riyals which is roughly 7 US Dollars. But don't be jealous, I would probably pay the $5 gallon if I could drive my car, have a margarita and not be melting in an overbearing abaya in desert heat! :)

Apple Juice
When we go out to eat, R loves to order apple juice.  Here is some freshly squeezed green apple juice with a slice of apple as a garnish. It is pulpy, delicious, and tastes exactly like drinking an apple. So very refreshing!

Zatar (aka Zaatar or Za'atar)
Zatar is a dry Middle Eastern spice that contains herbs, sesame seed and salt. It is too delicious for words. You can find zatar croissants, or spread on pitas like below.

Kri Kri Almonds
These nuts are also amazing. Kri Kri is a Lebanese speciality of coating nuts. These almonds have the same taste as traditional almonds but are coated with a crunchy sesame shell. They also come in chili and BBQ flavors. Yummy!

Clothing care
I was wondering how I would be able to keep my blacks black and whites white. Good thing there are custom detergents for each. And right next to each other!

Books and Magazines
My newly inherited free time has reignited my passion for books and reading. R was kind enough to get me a Kindle before our adventure began so I can catch up on the classics and new best sellers. I love a good book store and thankfully the Kingdom is full of them. I could get lost in a book store for hours, just browsing through every section trying to take everything in. There's a decent selection of English books in most stores as well.  There's always a large section of Arabic books. I almost bought an Arabic children's book just so I could learn the numbers!  And of course, the Saudis love the Twilight saga as much as we do!

Here are a few of the latest English version Arab magazines I picked up as well to keep me up to date on issues. My biggest pet peeve is that our TV line-up doesn't include any local news or weather so I am constantly relying on the internet. Don't get me wrong, I love doing everything online, but there's something very classic and enjoyable about flipping through a magazine or newspaper.

Until next time!

Cheers!

M

Coffee Mornings - Past and Present

There was a time in my banker life where I worked a lot, and I mean A LOT.  There was a time where everything was a blur. Days turned into weeks turned into months. I would come in at 8-8:30 in the morning and if I got home by 2am, I would be happy. I wasn't happy very often.  And then there was the weekend. Friday night would usually involve heavy drinking. I would try to sleep off the exhaustion, only to go into on Sunday until midnight. Sounds horrible, right? Well, it was.  Looking back, my fondest memories are not of working on billions of dollars worth of deals, or of pounding through Excel, or even of going to wonderful events and even more wonderful restaurants. No, none of that (maybe it was the haze of exhaustion).  At some point the hours got better but the work got worse. It was less exciting, less challenging, and watching people get laid off that you knew shouldn't was disheartening in so many ways.

I look back at this time in my life fondly only because of the people. Our peers of banker monkeys made everything better. We were each others' best friends. We knew how our days were and exactly what to say to make it better.  We knew each others moods, favorite foods, drinks of choice, bad habits, issues at home, and everything in between (and I mean, everything).  There was a wonderful level of mutual respect and adoration that I truly believe will be hard to find in a future work environment. There were many days when everything was going wrong - getting ridiculous requests from people that were impossible to fulfill, getting reprimanded for not being able to read peoples' minds, or being demeaned into doing some terrible task.  It was on these days where the people made the difference.  The people (you know who you are) that would say "hey, let's get a coffee". And somehow you felt better.

Grab your badge, your wallet and run to the elevators before anyone sees you. Take the elevator down 21 floors and run out the doors. We would get to the closest coffee shop, order as fast as we could, and run back so that you don't miss too many e-mails/voicemails/requests from people asking where you were. In those 10-15 minutes, you would find peace. As escape from the routine, as escape from the staring at computers screens (doing three things at once), while jumping back and forth from a conference call to someone standing at your desk asking for something or the other. That was what I knew of a coffee morning. 

And then I moved to the Kingdom as a woman. 

As I've mentioned there is no consumption of alcohol in the Kingdom. Let's just say that if I lived in a Western country and women were not allowed to drive or work, there would be a lot of drinking going on. Heck, we used to drink a few glasses of wine while getting a pedicure (at any hour of the day!).  Perhaps it's better that there is no alcohol, because every morning would be a get together of zatar croissants and a glass of wine. Instead, here in the Kingdom, we have coffee. And lots of it. Coffee shops line every mall, strip mall, compound and any of the "hip" areas. Coffee shops stay open until the wee hours of the morning here are always busy. I should also mention that donut shops, ice cream shops, and dessert shops are all "cafes" where you can get a latte with your choice of dessert. R and I recently went to a "Cafe Baskin Robbins" where the music was hip, and so was the crowd - a stark difference from the shady Baskin Robbins/Dunkin Donut truck stops we are used to.  Here's a sample menu from a local cafe. And yes, the drinks actually come in large glass cups.

A coffee morning in the Kingdom is a generic term used to refer to a group of women gathering for gossip, eating, and often times vendors trying to sell things. It's pretty much a "happy hour", or "kitty party", or "ladies night". I love ladies nights, after a day of work, blow off some steam, drink, eat, and laugh all your cares away.  Here in the Kingdom, I don't really have that many cares or any steam to blow off. So I'm pretty sure coffee mornings were borne out of the collective female need to gossip and bond with other women.

So I can handle drinking coffee, eating some food, chit chat, and shopping for a bit. Maybe an hour, maybe two. Coffee mornings here can last for four or five hours. Four or five HOURS! That's a long time. And the reality is there is no reason for it to be shorter because we women have nothing else to do. Most of the women here have houseboys/housemaids to clean their house, do their laundry, and sometimes even cook. I haven't quite felt the need to get a houseboy - instead I mop my entire villa for two hours twice a week. I can see that getting old, so I'm reserving the right to a houseboy/housemaid in the future. And honestly, when I'm at a coffee morning, I come back with so many goodies that I don't really want to clean or cook.  It's something I look forward to now, I get all dressed up, cover myself up with an abaya and head out for some adult interaction. If we didn't have coffee mornings to look forward to, it would be so easy to become trapped in your villa and then you miss out on making wonderful friends with such interesting, diverse, and genuinely kind women. Cheers to coffee mornings! (and to shopping!)

My favorite purchase so far has to be my blinged-out camel leather flats.  They look real sexy with an abaya!  Thanks for reading and I promise not to ramble this much next week :)

Cheers!
M