Odds and Ends

Photography is not welcomed in the Kingdom as it is in other places. You don't see families posing and having their picture taken anywhere. No one ever asks for you to take a photo. In fact, we have been strictly warned not to photograph anyone. So instead of taking our tripod and digital SLR out with us, taking pictures has turned into a covert operation where I sneak in pictures with my iTouch.  I promised not to ramble this week, so here's life in pictures....

Pain at the pump
The only pain we feel at the pump is the blurry image. You can't see it clearly, but the entire tank was filled on 24 Saudi Riyals which is roughly 7 US Dollars. But don't be jealous, I would probably pay the $5 gallon if I could drive my car, have a margarita and not be melting in an overbearing abaya in desert heat! :)

Apple Juice
When we go out to eat, R loves to order apple juice.  Here is some freshly squeezed green apple juice with a slice of apple as a garnish. It is pulpy, delicious, and tastes exactly like drinking an apple. So very refreshing!

Zatar (aka Zaatar or Za'atar)
Zatar is a dry Middle Eastern spice that contains herbs, sesame seed and salt. It is too delicious for words. You can find zatar croissants, or spread on pitas like below.

Kri Kri Almonds
These nuts are also amazing. Kri Kri is a Lebanese speciality of coating nuts. These almonds have the same taste as traditional almonds but are coated with a crunchy sesame shell. They also come in chili and BBQ flavors. Yummy!

Clothing care
I was wondering how I would be able to keep my blacks black and whites white. Good thing there are custom detergents for each. And right next to each other!

Books and Magazines
My newly inherited free time has reignited my passion for books and reading. R was kind enough to get me a Kindle before our adventure began so I can catch up on the classics and new best sellers. I love a good book store and thankfully the Kingdom is full of them. I could get lost in a book store for hours, just browsing through every section trying to take everything in. There's a decent selection of English books in most stores as well.  There's always a large section of Arabic books. I almost bought an Arabic children's book just so I could learn the numbers!  And of course, the Saudis love the Twilight saga as much as we do!

Here are a few of the latest English version Arab magazines I picked up as well to keep me up to date on issues. My biggest pet peeve is that our TV line-up doesn't include any local news or weather so I am constantly relying on the internet. Don't get me wrong, I love doing everything online, but there's something very classic and enjoyable about flipping through a magazine or newspaper.

Until next time!

Cheers!

M

Coffee Mornings - Past and Present

There was a time in my banker life where I worked a lot, and I mean A LOT.  There was a time where everything was a blur. Days turned into weeks turned into months. I would come in at 8-8:30 in the morning and if I got home by 2am, I would be happy. I wasn't happy very often.  And then there was the weekend. Friday night would usually involve heavy drinking. I would try to sleep off the exhaustion, only to go into on Sunday until midnight. Sounds horrible, right? Well, it was.  Looking back, my fondest memories are not of working on billions of dollars worth of deals, or of pounding through Excel, or even of going to wonderful events and even more wonderful restaurants. No, none of that (maybe it was the haze of exhaustion).  At some point the hours got better but the work got worse. It was less exciting, less challenging, and watching people get laid off that you knew shouldn't was disheartening in so many ways.

I look back at this time in my life fondly only because of the people. Our peers of banker monkeys made everything better. We were each others' best friends. We knew how our days were and exactly what to say to make it better.  We knew each others moods, favorite foods, drinks of choice, bad habits, issues at home, and everything in between (and I mean, everything).  There was a wonderful level of mutual respect and adoration that I truly believe will be hard to find in a future work environment. There were many days when everything was going wrong - getting ridiculous requests from people that were impossible to fulfill, getting reprimanded for not being able to read peoples' minds, or being demeaned into doing some terrible task.  It was on these days where the people made the difference.  The people (you know who you are) that would say "hey, let's get a coffee". And somehow you felt better.

Grab your badge, your wallet and run to the elevators before anyone sees you. Take the elevator down 21 floors and run out the doors. We would get to the closest coffee shop, order as fast as we could, and run back so that you don't miss too many e-mails/voicemails/requests from people asking where you were. In those 10-15 minutes, you would find peace. As escape from the routine, as escape from the staring at computers screens (doing three things at once), while jumping back and forth from a conference call to someone standing at your desk asking for something or the other. That was what I knew of a coffee morning. 

And then I moved to the Kingdom as a woman. 

As I've mentioned there is no consumption of alcohol in the Kingdom. Let's just say that if I lived in a Western country and women were not allowed to drive or work, there would be a lot of drinking going on. Heck, we used to drink a few glasses of wine while getting a pedicure (at any hour of the day!).  Perhaps it's better that there is no alcohol, because every morning would be a get together of zatar croissants and a glass of wine. Instead, here in the Kingdom, we have coffee. And lots of it. Coffee shops line every mall, strip mall, compound and any of the "hip" areas. Coffee shops stay open until the wee hours of the morning here are always busy. I should also mention that donut shops, ice cream shops, and dessert shops are all "cafes" where you can get a latte with your choice of dessert. R and I recently went to a "Cafe Baskin Robbins" where the music was hip, and so was the crowd - a stark difference from the shady Baskin Robbins/Dunkin Donut truck stops we are used to.  Here's a sample menu from a local cafe. And yes, the drinks actually come in large glass cups.

A coffee morning in the Kingdom is a generic term used to refer to a group of women gathering for gossip, eating, and often times vendors trying to sell things. It's pretty much a "happy hour", or "kitty party", or "ladies night". I love ladies nights, after a day of work, blow off some steam, drink, eat, and laugh all your cares away.  Here in the Kingdom, I don't really have that many cares or any steam to blow off. So I'm pretty sure coffee mornings were borne out of the collective female need to gossip and bond with other women.

So I can handle drinking coffee, eating some food, chit chat, and shopping for a bit. Maybe an hour, maybe two. Coffee mornings here can last for four or five hours. Four or five HOURS! That's a long time. And the reality is there is no reason for it to be shorter because we women have nothing else to do. Most of the women here have houseboys/housemaids to clean their house, do their laundry, and sometimes even cook. I haven't quite felt the need to get a houseboy - instead I mop my entire villa for two hours twice a week. I can see that getting old, so I'm reserving the right to a houseboy/housemaid in the future. And honestly, when I'm at a coffee morning, I come back with so many goodies that I don't really want to clean or cook.  It's something I look forward to now, I get all dressed up, cover myself up with an abaya and head out for some adult interaction. If we didn't have coffee mornings to look forward to, it would be so easy to become trapped in your villa and then you miss out on making wonderful friends with such interesting, diverse, and genuinely kind women. Cheers to coffee mornings! (and to shopping!)

My favorite purchase so far has to be my blinged-out camel leather flats.  They look real sexy with an abaya!  Thanks for reading and I promise not to ramble this much next week :)

Cheers!
M

My Abaya, My Friend

As I have mentioned previously, women in the Kingdom are required to wear an abaya anytime they are in the presence of unrelated men. For expats, this rule applies only to when we leave the compound (when we go shopping and spend our husbands' money, which, by the way, is the only thing to do around here). Saudi women tend to be completely veiled so you can either see just their eyes, or often times, their entire faces are covered with a sheer veil. Some women wear gloves, others dare to show off their beautifully manicured and jeweled fingers. To this day, it is unusual to see - these bundles of black fabric gracefully shopping for make-up, texting on their Iphones, and fingering through sale racks.

You might ask, why don't you just not wear an abaya? Well yes, it would be nice to walk around in jeans and a tshirt, carrying shopping bags, while chatting on my bluetooth headset. Unfortunately, being covered is a very much enforced law. There are policemen everywhere - at every mall, at every grocery store, at every Ikea, Chili's, Applebees, and KFC.  There are also a specific group of religious police whose very job is to enforce the strict customs and regulations of the Kingdom.  They are called the mutaween and they are commissioned by the Committee for the Propogation of Virtue and Prevention of Vice (and yes, they do exactly that!). 

Officers of this committee can be seen along the souks, markets, and sometimes even in the malls. The mutaween are typically escorted by an actual policeman and are patroling for women with their heads/bodies uncovered, unrelated men and women socializing (I can only imagine what it must take to go on a date in the Kingdom!), any consumption of pork and alcohol, and any other activity that may be against the laws of the Kingdom.  They are also responsible for ensuring that products in the Kingdom are not un-Islamic. Should an import of goods be deemed "risky", the mutaween take out their handy black markers and remove any Western influence. See below. This is a pool item that evidently had a woman in a bathing suit, the handy black marker throws a burqa over her and the product is now ready for shelves everywhere.

In all honestly, since I don't plan on making out with R at the mall while eating bacon and drinking a beer, the only thing that I should be worried about is making sure my abaya is on and I have a scarf handy. So I am making a whole-hearted effort to embrace the abaya.

I've discovered that the Saudis have discovered the answer to the age-old question "does this make me look fat?". Well, the Saudi answer is "yes, you look fat and that's exactly how you are supposed to look".  There is nothing flattering about wearing a giant black gown. Women here never have to worry about "what to wear?". We can wear whatever we want as long as we cover it up with an abaya. We do not need to worry about bra straps, muffin tops, jello arms, panty lines or any other vanity item when leaving the compound. Not only do we not have to worry about said vanity items ourselves, we don't have to see any of it either (which is also a benefit!).  So here is a picture of my abaya, my friend :)

Cheers!
M

Welcome to the Kingdom!

We are living in Al-Khobar in the Eastern Province of the Kingdom. Anyone familiar with the Kingdom is often excited because we are only 45 minutes away from Bahrain - thanks to the causeway (a really big bridge) that links the two Kingdoms. Typically, expats living in Khobar are lucky because we would be able to drive over to Bahrain for the weekend and indulge in the luxury of alcholol, pork, and religious tolerance. However, with the recent unrest in the Middle East and North Africa, the causeway is currently one of the most dangerous bridges around. As a precaution, most companies (including R's) have a travel ban on using the causeway. This means our weekends are spent in the Kingdom (with no alcohol or pork).

Here in the Kingdom, everyone is Muslim, the call to prayer is heard 5 times a day, and during those times the stores and restaurants are closed. It is imperative to know the prayer times before going anywhere because you wouldn't want to get kicked out of an establishment. Luckily, where our villa is situated within the compound, the call to prayer is faint sound in the background and hardly noticable during the day.

Because of the situation in Bahrain, we had to fly into Dammam which is the capital of the Eastern Province and has an airport that serves much of the region. We were lucky enough to rearrange all of our flights at the last minute since our flight to Bahrain was cancelled. We flew from New York to Doha to Dammam on the beautiful and luxurious Qatar Airways. I have to say, I am always impressed with foreign airlines, they all put the American airlines to shame. The business class cabin felt more like a lounge, and when we were ready to sleep, our wonderful air hostess put a pillowtop mattress on our fully reclining twin size bed seats. It's always the little things that impress me so I was most excited about drinking the lemon mint water. It's an Arab specialty with just the right combination of sweet and tart to make it wonderfully refreshing for this climate.

In Doha, we had a short layover where we took the time to browse through duty-free, freshen up and gear up for a quick flight over to the Kingdom. The one nice aspect about traveling to the Middle East is that there is no shortage of Indian folks around. It's comforting to hear Hindi being spoken wherever you are - whether it's the announcer at JFK airport, the ladies fixing their saris in the restrooms in Doha, or the man helping us with our luggage in Dammam.

Our flight to Dammam was only about 45 minutes and I was in the first class cabin while R was slumming it in economy. It was at this point that I was pretty terrified. I was still wearing yoga pants and an oversized tee whereas the plane was filled with men in thobes and fully-veiled women. There was an Arab lady sitting in front of me in Western wear so I decided I would see what she did and follow suit. A man came and sat next to me and perhaps either sensed my nerves or was genuinely kind. I was gripping my passport for dear life with my abaya scrunched up beside me. From what I have read about Saudi men, I was afraid. But this man asked me a few simple questions and we had a nice conversation. He seemed to be impressed with my banker past and even gave me his business card and offered me a job! Wow! This was turning out to be better than I had hoped. The flight was so quick that as soon as we received a beverage, it was time to land. At this point the lady in front of me put on her abaya, so I slipped mine on as well. I got off the plane and waited for R.

We followed the crowd down to immigration. This is wear it was completely nutty! We stood in the line for foreign citizens. Though, you really couldn't tell which line was which because there were so many people and so few immigration officers. The forming of a single file queue is completely unheard of. There are just masses of people forcing their way to the front trying to get through. Saudis get preferential treatment and are quickly ushered to the front while the rest of us just have to wait, and wait, and wait some more. After nearly two hours of waiting in line, we made it through immigration in 5 minutes where R did the talking and I did the fingerprinting. At baggage claim, the carousel from our flight had already stopped and only our 4 pieces of luggage were left. We had a nice Indian man help us gather our luggage and take it through the luggage scanner (he was tipped for his services, as is everyone). Our pre-arranged cab driver met us afterwards and let us to the giant SUV they needed to send in order to fit all of our luggage. Off we went to our "home".

After a 40 minute drive we arrived at the first check point to get into our compound. This one was Saudi military. The next check point is private security, and finally there is security to take us into our gated compound. R says I will get used to having machine guns pointed at me at all times. I'm not so sure about that.

Upon entering the compound, I was immediately drawn to the landscaping. Now, at the compound, I don't have to wear an abaya, I can curse like a sailor and interact with whomever I'd like. Check out the picture of the landscaping - rows of giant shrubs dressed to show off their manliness. No doubt that I am now living in a male-dominated society!

Cheers!
M

Here we go!

Welcome! Thank you for joining me on my journey from type-A investment banker to a housewife in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. I hope you find this blog entertaining and informative and don't mind my ramblings too much! :)

So where to begin? I have now been in the Kingdom for almost a week now and I think I finally have adjusted to the time. The first few days have been mostly a jet-lag filled daze filled with watching bad-tv, unpacking, napping and settling in.

This journey of ours (my husband R and mine) began about 6 months ago when R was approved to come on assignment to the Kingdom (I somehow love referring to it as the Kingdom, but the country can also be referred to as Saudi, Saudi Arabia, KSA, or SA). At that time, the entire notion of packing up our lives and moving to another country seemed romantic, adventurous, exciting, and exactly what we needed in our lives. This was a time when R was commuting 3 hours a day (driving) and was constantly in a state of pure exhaustion and I was working long hours while also taking care of our beloved dog Aloo, and maintain some semblance of a household. We always wanted to live abroad, especially while we were young and full of wonder. My bank life would never have afforded me that type of opportunity and luckily R's career depended on experience outside the office. So we said yes!

And so it began - the three months of pure agony - R was in the Kingdom working non-stop and I was in Charlotte - working and trying to "shut down our US operations". The pains of loneliness during that time are impossible to forget. However, there were plenty of things on my to-do list to keep me occupied - including packing, cleaning, donating, and spending time with some of the best friends I've made in my life.

And now we are here, living in a villa bigger than I could have ever imagined, in a compound so beautifully maintained that any ounce of desert has completely disappeared. Who knew palm trees were so abundant in this arid climate? :)

My experience here will be completely different than R's. R will be working, interacting with other expats and locals. Here in the Kingdom, women are not allowed to drive, must wear an abaya, and are treated as the property of their husbands, fathers, or brothers. My life will be mostly on the compound surrounded by other expat wives. I've already met women from all around the world (Egypt, Jordan, Lebanon, Canada, US, Pakistan, South Africa, etc) and it has already been a very eye-opening life experience.

I suppose I should clarify the name of my blog, I will not be in a burqa, but rather an abaya (which is more like a black robe that you wear over your clothes, but my head is not required to be covered). I couldn't pass up the alliteration of banker and burqa, banker and abaya didn't have the same ring to it.

Thanks for reading and joining me on this adventure!

Shukran,
M