You come first

The most frequent question I get from family and friends is "was it worth it?"

I would have to say that you can't put a pricetag or value on taking a leap of faith. I used to work more hours than humanly possible, made more money than I knew what to do with and every single day I felt inadequate. I was constantly trying to keep up with something and scheduled in relaxation like it was another check on my never-ending to-do list.

So yes, when this opportunity came about, I was having weeks and months of wanting to just quit my job and retire. You know those days? Those days where nothing goes right and you just want to give up everything, start over. But when that opportunity comes, are you ready and willing to take it? I have to say, at first I was unsure. This is something you dream of. Quitting your job, packing up your life, and trying something completely new. It's exciting but also scary. But without much thought, I knew that this was the right decision. I stopped chasing those useless milestones we all strive for. Those all came and went and in the end, the only thing that made me happy in life was being with R and so I followed my heart for the first time ever. I've always done everything right and as expected, always followed my brain and what seemed logical. This time, I followed a feeling so strong that it is all-consuming - LOVE.

Love, that feeling that makes everything come alive. My favorite description of love is from a great friend of mine, Dr. G. When Dr. G. met his wife, he lit up. Just completely lit up.

You know that iconic song "Ek Ladki Ko Dekha"? (Super famous Hindi song that every girl wishes a prince would sing to her). Well, he told me that he was waiting for to meet someone to sing that to, to say those words to. And he finally did and it was beautiful. Two years ago, R and I married in a Hindu ceremony in front of our family and friends. We put garlands on each other as symbols of our union and formally accepting each other. Our hands were bound with a sacred thread whereby our lives and hearts were inexplicably intertwined.



Our wedding - July 2009

So it was love that brought me to Saudi Arabia. And if I ever doubted the decision or resented the fact that I had to give up so much freedom, something happened to remind me of why I'm here. Two months ago I become very sick. Sick to the point where I couldn't speak. I went through a night where every time I swallowed, it felt like daggers in my throat. R was worried about it but I told him to go to work and I would be fine. A few hours later, I was in so much pain. I mustered up enough voice to call R and ask him if he could take me to the doctor during his lunch break since I knew he was so busy at work. He said "I'm coming home now". I must have looked pretty pathetic when he come home because he just gave me a hug. But I told him again, "I'm okay, just go back to work and take me at lunch". He took my face in his hands, gave me a kiss, and said "You come first".  And that was that.

I count my blessing every day that I have such a wonderful man as a husband. And today, on my birthday, the 7th birthday we've spent together, R never ceases to amaze me. He tells me he loves me and that I'm beautiful more times in a day than I can count, he will set the alarm at midnight just to wake up to give me a birthday kiss, and will dance with me in the living room for no reason.

So, was it worth it? Of course it was.

-M