You come first

The most frequent question I get from family and friends is "was it worth it?"

I would have to say that you can't put a pricetag or value on taking a leap of faith. I used to work more hours than humanly possible, made more money than I knew what to do with and every single day I felt inadequate. I was constantly trying to keep up with something and scheduled in relaxation like it was another check on my never-ending to-do list.

So yes, when this opportunity came about, I was having weeks and months of wanting to just quit my job and retire. You know those days? Those days where nothing goes right and you just want to give up everything, start over. But when that opportunity comes, are you ready and willing to take it? I have to say, at first I was unsure. This is something you dream of. Quitting your job, packing up your life, and trying something completely new. It's exciting but also scary. But without much thought, I knew that this was the right decision. I stopped chasing those useless milestones we all strive for. Those all came and went and in the end, the only thing that made me happy in life was being with R and so I followed my heart for the first time ever. I've always done everything right and as expected, always followed my brain and what seemed logical. This time, I followed a feeling so strong that it is all-consuming - LOVE.

Love, that feeling that makes everything come alive. My favorite description of love is from a great friend of mine, Dr. G. When Dr. G. met his wife, he lit up. Just completely lit up.

You know that iconic song "Ek Ladki Ko Dekha"? (Super famous Hindi song that every girl wishes a prince would sing to her). Well, he told me that he was waiting for to meet someone to sing that to, to say those words to. And he finally did and it was beautiful. Two years ago, R and I married in a Hindu ceremony in front of our family and friends. We put garlands on each other as symbols of our union and formally accepting each other. Our hands were bound with a sacred thread whereby our lives and hearts were inexplicably intertwined.



Our wedding - July 2009

So it was love that brought me to Saudi Arabia. And if I ever doubted the decision or resented the fact that I had to give up so much freedom, something happened to remind me of why I'm here. Two months ago I become very sick. Sick to the point where I couldn't speak. I went through a night where every time I swallowed, it felt like daggers in my throat. R was worried about it but I told him to go to work and I would be fine. A few hours later, I was in so much pain. I mustered up enough voice to call R and ask him if he could take me to the doctor during his lunch break since I knew he was so busy at work. He said "I'm coming home now". I must have looked pretty pathetic when he come home because he just gave me a hug. But I told him again, "I'm okay, just go back to work and take me at lunch". He took my face in his hands, gave me a kiss, and said "You come first".  And that was that.

I count my blessing every day that I have such a wonderful man as a husband. And today, on my birthday, the 7th birthday we've spent together, R never ceases to amaze me. He tells me he loves me and that I'm beautiful more times in a day than I can count, he will set the alarm at midnight just to wake up to give me a birthday kiss, and will dance with me in the living room for no reason.

So, was it worth it? Of course it was.

-M

Ramadan Mubarak!

The Holy Month of Ramadan falls this year during the month of August. It's a month for Muslims to fast from sunrise to sunset and a time to reconnect with one's faith. It is also a month of great generosity and charity.  It is here in Saudi Arabia where Islam's holiest places are. These are the two mosques in Mecca and Medina. The King is also known as the Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques.

So if you combine the fact that it is Ramadan and this is the birthplace of Islam, I knew I was in for something special.  Having always lived in countries where the holidays I celebrated with my family were never the mainstream holidays, I've always come to appreciate and learn about the culture around me. (I never had a Christmas tree but always loves the lights, and watching the endless array of Christmas movies.)

Once Ramadan was announced (yes, it is announced based on moon sightings by the religious authority), everything became so festive. The crescent moon, a symbol of Ramadan, can be seen everywhere. Hotels and buildings are decorated with lights. Even bushes are trimmed to the shape of the crescent moon.  Grocery stores and shops are abundant with sales and it feels like the mood of everything has shifted.

Another thing that shifted is "normal" business and operating hours.  Ramadan is a time of fasting and religious observation during the day and evenings are dedicated to spending time with families, relatives, and doing the things you would normally do during the day. I must preface my next comments with a few disclaimers.

I am in no way mocking or diminishing what Ramadan is. I admire and respect all of those that have the spiritual and mental resilience to make it through an entire month of fasting. I am simply making note of some observations by an outsider to the religion and a guest of this Kingdom. So please take my observations lightly and my intention is in no way meant to offend.

As I mentioned, everything shifts. Here in Saudi Arabia because of the time sunset, fast is broken between 6 and 6:30 pm. Breaking fast is known as iftaar. To me, that sounds like a normal dinner time. Which is why it is unclear to me why the shopping malls, certain grocery stores, and certain restaurants do not open until 9:30pm. "Normal" Ramadan hours here are between 9:30pm to 2am. Yes, that's right, 2am.  So my dear husband still has to go to work everyday rather early, and usually by 9:30 at night he is dozing off, or already dozed off. Unless I steal his car and dress like a man, I'm not making it to the mall to take advantage of the above-mentioned sales. So that means I stay at home. And if you read my previous post about how freaking hot it is, there isn't a whole lot to do.  So Ramadan is more like a test on how I can occupy my time. Luckily, I am not one for sitting idle so it's not too bad. I do miss the random visits from neighbors, the coffee mornings, and generally just hanging out and meeting new ladies.

Since everyone here is Muslim, everyone observes Ramadan. So during the day if I am out in public (as a non-Muslim), I might think it's okay to have a bottle of water or granola bar. But NO. It is NOT okay. Eating or drinking in public during fasting hours is forbidden and the consequence is being thrown in jail until Ramadan is over. Not going to risk it.

Fasting during Ramadan means not drinking any water or eating food, smoking cigarettes, or having sex during daylight hours. So we can only imagine what happens at night when the restrictions are lifted. But back to my point...because the sun rises so early in the morning, most folks don't wake up until the sun is already up. That means that they have to go start their day with no food or water. That also means they cannot brush their teeth. That's right, no teeth brushing.  Just imagine having to go to work, etc without brushing your teeth. Imagine what it's like when you brush your teeth and no one else does... Just think about that....

Only a few more days of Ramadan left and then I can get back to my "normal" Saudi life!

Until next time,

-M

Time

Time. Time in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia stands still. And while the rest of you are living in 2011, I am living in 1432. Yes, that's right, 1432. And no, that is not the number of days since my last post.

It is the year 1432 according to the Islamic calendar. I grew up only knowing the Gregorian calendar (the one that makes this year 2011). Imagine my surprise when all our documents (visas,etc) all say it is 1432. I knew I was stepping back in time from a social perspective, but perhaps it was a literal step back in time. Much to my dismay, there was no time portal, and while it is 2011 back home, it is 1432 here.

So I suppose I could deal with the fact that it is 1432. Easy enough to adjust to, despite how strange it looks when you are writing it down.  The other thing about time here is the weekend. The weekend here is Thursday and Friday.

Growing up with a Gregorian calendar, you also tend to have certain assumptions about what a week is. In banker world, it seemed like the week was every day and anytime you were needed. But those with normal working/school hours, the week starts on a Monday. Hence the term, "case of the Mondays". You know what I'm talking about, the end of a fun-filled weekend, the alarm going off too early, preparing for a Monday morning meeting, and dragging your feet to get the week started - a case of the Mondays.  After you've survived Monday and Tuesday, then comes Wednesday, also known as "hump day". The day where you are closer to the weekend than you are to the beginning of the week. Thursday typically involves planning for the weekend which makes the day tolerable, and then lo and behold, TGIF!!! (Thank God It's Friday). Yes, glorious, glorious Friday. Every one is happy, a little lazy, and ready to start the weekend.

My personal favorite day of the week was Saturday. You can wake up whenever you like, take a nap, get out and about and enjoy the day of not working. Sunday isn't too bad either, except for Sunday evening when the reality of starting another work week sets in. And then the cycle begins again....

Thinking about how my entire left was set up for a week to start on Monday and end on Sunday makes me somewhat grateful I'm not working here in the Kingdom. If the weekend is Thursday and Friday, that means Saturday turns into Monday! You can't have a "case of the Saturdays"?! That would defy all logic, right?  I suppose the weekend can always start earlier, TGIW (Thank God It's Wednesday) is probably easier to digest. :)

Well, whatever the year or day may be, you just have to adjust. That's what life is all about, right? Trying new things, experiencing new flavors, and living life to the fullest. So I will be living my life to the fullest here in Saudi Arabia whether it's 1432 or 2011, or if I have the case of the Mondays or Saturdays! :)

-M